Filed under Science
Opening Soon in a strip mall near you.
Do you like collectibles? Are you tired of conforming? Are you nocturnal? Do you like the Antiques Roadshow ?
It’s time to come down to our poorly lit, state-of-the-art second-hand light bulb showroom. We have light bulbs from all over the world – Italy, Littlerock, Greenland, Vienna, Bradford, etc. We have new second-hand light bulbs coming in all the time from all kinds of sources for every occasion. We design and make our own range of second-hand light bulb jewellery- it is all the rage. Be original – don’t send flowers to that special someone, say “I love you” with a custom bouquet of exquisite second-hand light bulbs.
Second-hand light bulbs are:
- great as baby soothers
- great for the kids to play that timeless, classic game of “Smash the light bulb”
- wicked novelty/joke gifts. You cannot beat people’s expressions when they insert the second-hand light bulb thinking that it will work and then it doesn’t – good times
- always great talking points at social/family gatherings
- a great way to meet like minded people
- fun for all the family
- the source of many jokes
- super Christmas ornaments
Get All Lit Up At The Second Hand Light Bulb Shop
Filed under Travel
Are you out of work? Do you have money to invest/burn on some hair-brained scheme? Do you have two hands? Can you see in the dark? Are you alive? Do you own a swimsuit? If you answered any of these questions, we have an opportunity for you…become your town’s Midnight Mechanic.
Everyone knows how inconvenient it is to get an oil change done for your car, yet alone getting your car serviced. No-one likes that impotent feeling of not having your wheels available to you and this is where the Midnight Mechanic comes in.
The Midnight Mechanic goes to peoples’ homes after the hours of midnight, services their cars discreetly, (except for power tool noise) and is essentially a totally mobile mechanic’s garage which can try to do any job.
The Midnight Mechanic is equipped with just about anything he might need to repair your car and he will try (and most likely fail) to fix it. People no longer have to worry about visiting the dealership for a service anymore…you simply call the Midnight Mechanic. Everybody wins!!
For a one time franchise fee we will supply you with:
- a custom 24 wheeler rig (with your name and your woman’s/old man’s name on the windscreen)
- a supply of all kinds of impressive looking replacement parts – nuts, bolts, tires, engines etc.
- a simple manual on how to fix stuff, complete with car section
- a whole bunch of super charged power-tools
- a helmet
- a really loud air-horn for your rig
- a powder blue, kick-ass winter uniform
- a second-hand fluorescent light fixture
- a small purple elephant
- a mustard yellow, insulated spacesuit
- a selection of tasteless bumper-stickers like “honk if you think I’m a w@nker”
- Midnight Mechanic branded head-band and flip-flop set
Being an official Midnight Mechanic in your town will bring many perks and benefits…
- Enjoy those envious looks as people observe you in your official looking uniform.
- Garner the respect of friends and relatives as you shamelessly parade around in your enormous 24 wheeler rig
- Look like a rockstar mechanic.
- Shamelessly blow your air-horn, pissing everyone off.
- Make extra money by working during the day.
- Great as a part-time/full-time job for old people, infants and students.
- Be a role model to children and purveyor of the Great American Dream to all.
- Pull chicks/dudes
Testimonials about Midnight Mechanics:
“He kept me up all night and totally fucked my car! In fact I have never driven my car since, but what a convenient service.†Steve Stephenson. (Buffalo, USA)
“Two thumbs way up for the Midnight Mechanic!†Siskel and Roeper (NYC, USA)
“He was kind enough to open the door for me before he drove away in my car. What a charmer he was, I miss him already!†Ima Sillycow (Lowville Heights, Canada)
Filed under Lifestyle
Are you planless? Feel like you need a change? Do you like plans? Have you lost your way? Don’t have a plan? Do you keep doing things which only you think are good ideas? If you answered yes or no to any of these questions then you should…
Visit the Plan Shop for our Autumn Plan Blowout!
Often in life we are faced with uncomfortable problems and severe challenges which usually force us to start crying, panic, phone our Mums and quickly give up. Bad planning has touched everyone’s life. It need not any more…we are now excited to offer plans to suit any situation.
- Need a business plan?
- Forgot your plan?
- Did the dog eat your plan?
- Bored of your parent’s plans for you?
- Need a new meal plan?
- Not sure what you are doing?
- Need an excuse for a plan?
Don’t worry we have you in our plans… We have a plan for you.
Let’s face it everyone loves a man or woman with a plan. Be the person who people look to when their shit/plan hits the fan. Be the person about whom people say “he/she has such great plans!”. Everyone loves it when a plan comes together and even if it doesn’t it’s the thought that counts. The plan could have worked and isn’t that enough? Of course it is. Some of the most famous and successful people in the world like plans and use them. Stick with the planners…stay one plan ahead of the crowd. Be a winner…Be a Planner!
Plans to suit any budget…
Currently in stock:
- Big Plans
- Plan B
- Simple Plans
- Re-Conditioned Plans
- Previously Failed Plans
- Previously Enjoyed Plans
- Budget Plans
- Bad Plans
- Last Minute Plans
- Ill-Conceived Plans
- Vintage Plans
- General Plans
- Spring Plans
- Interchangeable Plans
- Pie-in-the-Sky Plans
Plans currently being planned:
- Summer Plans
- Comprehensive Plans
- Mid-Summer Plans
- Half-Arsed Plans
- Elaborate Plans
- Futuristic Plans
- Pretty Weak Plans
- Speculative Plans
- Reworked Plans
- Solid Plans
- Dream Plans
Feel like a change of plans? Then trade your old plans in for some new plans. We also offer custom plans, which we will custom plan for you. We also offer plans for all special occasions…Barn Dances, Bar Mitzvahs, Weddings, Christenings, etc.
Talk to one of our Planners in our state-of-the-art dedicated Planning Department. Discuss your planning dreams and make plans for them to become a real plan sometime.
Take advantage of our “I Planned It My Way” promotion. Buy one plan for $200 and get the second one for the same price.
The Plan Shop…making someone’s plans become something, sometime guaranteed
Filed under Sports
Yes that’s right just in time for the Grand Slam tennis season, we here at Stupid Business Ideas are about to unleash another absolute corker on the unsuspecting world!
It is tradition at Wimbledon, the All England Tennis Club, for the tournament to sell tennis balls, used in previous matches, to paying customers. People seem to love the idea that a top player or mediocre player, noone has ever heard of, might have handled their newly purchased balls. With this in mind, our ingenious plan is to attend the first few days of the tournament and during matches, throw loads of balls onto the court while rallies are in progress. Obviously, this will make for some confused and grumpy players and officials but we will be smiling broadly and laughing as we go. The Powers that be will (hopefully) assume that the balls arriving without invitation on the courts are balls that they have sold to the public. This is where the plan takes shape so standby…clearly the All England Tennis Club will not tolerate foreign balls arriving on court willy-nilly during matches, so they will be forced to ban sales of their previously used balls to maintain the dignity of the tournament and prevent further disruptions to matches.
The day after the ban, as people walk up to the entry gates they will be greeted by two eye-catching stalls offering previously used balls from Wimbledon for sale at a highly inflated rate. Now this is the crafty part…the balls we sell will not actually be balls from the tournament but will in fact be balls purchased for very little at ASDA. Before anyone is aware of “the great tennis ball swindle” the last volley of the tournament will have been struck and we will be sitting in McDonalds supersizing our Big Mac meals and counting our money. The plan is fool proof and we may licence it for use at other tournaments around the world assuming they sell their used balls.
Thank you
Filed under Uncategorized
We’ve had this really great idea – a website filled with stupid business ideas.
If we can’t come up with enough to fill the blog (and on recent performance that shouldn’t be a problem) we’ll just write up those gazillions of really stupid business ideas that are out there already.
Our first stupid business idea is to set up a whole range of stupid business idea websites. So if you don’t like stupid business ideas, try awful business ideas or silly business ideas or any of the other sites from our list below…
Thank you
