Do you find yourself always lining up? Are you always waiting impatiently for things? Are you someone who gets their ass kicked for butting in line? Do you like queuing for things? Do you have too little time on your hands?

We have the solution -

We now have Line-up Technicians (or Queue Technicians if you are in jolly England) on call 24 hours a day in some towns and cities, in a few countries worldwide. No matter if you want to select the fastest or slowest line-up we have the answer for you. Perhaps, you don’t know which check-in line-up to select at the Airport or you really want to get your McFix at McDonalds and the line-ups look frustratingly long? We cater to all situations, feuding spouses eager to piss each other off by spending an eternity in the wrong line-up; the simple queue-lover who just loves the order of standing in single file waiting; the impatient, grumpkin who thinks the world revolves around him; etc.

You simply call our dispatch control centre and we will immediately send out a fairly competent Line Up Technician to advise on which line-up to stand in. After thorough analysis using our custom algorithm and heuristics we will tell you the optimum line-up/queue you should stand in to achieve your objective. Don’t be that tool who gets to the counter only to discover that he/she was in the wrong line-up the whole time and has to go and line up again, usually in the longest line-up of them all. Do what all the misguided, impatient people are doing… call The Line-up Technicians!

The Line-up Technicians… getting people where they wanna go faster or slower (sometimes)