Are you starting to realise that you are not perfect? Are you even annoying yourself with those bad behavioral patterns you exhibit? Sometimes you just don’t know how to address your character flaws and noone else can be bothered to help you.

Now with the new Electronic Self Improvement System, you can shock yourself into becoming a better person. Simply install the “invisible” alarm vest, set to the character flaw/feeling you wish to correct, choose the tolerance level you require, turn it on and start the electrical voyage of self-improvement. For example. whenever you exceed your chosen limit for a behavior you receive a 18 volt electric shock along with an air raid siren sounding for thirty seconds, these measures provide a clear deterrent to you to stop being such a badly behaved asshole and smarten up

Character Flaw Alarm Systems currently available:

• Boring
• Overly enthusiastic
• Anxious
• Normal
• Anxious
• Feminist
• Ageist
• Sober
• Excessively nice
• Conservative
• Honest
• Deceptive
• Impatient

Available in all major drug stores this Christmas…finally, become the perfectly balanced person.