We here at Stupid Business Ideas are very open-minded people who often find ourselves trying to look at the world from many different perspectives. We can make even the simplest question incredibly complex basically because we insist on fairly evaluating every possible answer to a question. This has been known to lead to mass procrastination, total confusion and on occasion almost complete meltdown.

Fortunately for us overly open-minded indecisive types our scientists here at SBI have come up with the ground breaking New Head-In-The-Sand Total Focus Device. This device looks to revolutionize the nightmare which is polite and informed debate. Pleasant discussion is a thing of the past and democratic decision making a mere after thought.

Now decision makers everywhere can simply insert their head or heads into the New Head-In-The-Sand Total Focus Device of their choice and forget about hearing anyoneelse’s point of view or seeing the world from another perspective. This enables the device wearer to stick with his beliefs, not being second guessed by anyone and remaining totally oblivious to potentially vital, highly relevant events going on around him or her. Top executives, to Olympic athletes, to cleaning ladies, to web publishers, to accountants, to Venture Capitalists, to botanists, to students, everybody is using the New Head-In-The-Sand Total Focus Device.

Options now available:

• Portable designer sand buckets
• Full Olympic sized long jump sand pits
• Mediterranean sand
• Fake sand
• Caribbean sand

Available at all good men’s wear stores and fine women’s boutiques everywhere.

Are you having trouble reaching niche customers? Is your website lacking that official, classical feel? Do you like Latin music? Are you a fan of Homer’s “Iliad”?

Stupid Business Ideas (Bardus Res Informatio) proudly launches their New Latin Translation Service.

That’s right…stay one step ahead of your competitors by making your website available in the mother of all languages – Latin!

• Get one of our native Latin speakers to translate your entire website
• We offer custom translations using all the latest hip Latin expressions
• Express yourself and show people that it is not a dead language after all
• Be the industry leader and say profound things like Caesar’s “Veni, Vidi, Vici”
• Garner even your competitors’ respect with this unique linguistic initiative
• Tell everyone “Carpe Diem” – “Seize the Day”

Launching Summer 2008 A.D.

Coming soon…new Egyptian Hieroglyphics translation service.

They said it couldn’t happen but the well for Stupid Business Ideas seems to have run somewhat dry. Unbelievable we have been coming up with only good business ideas in recent months and naturally our staff have become increasingly disenfranchised and frustrated.

Thanks to our totally mad executives and the imminent launch of a business saving initiative, we will soon be churning out masses of crappy, ill-conceived ideas once again thanks to our new software - CorrectImperfect v.1

You simply enter your good idea into our system electronically and the software takes care of the rest, stripping all the benefits and positive concepts from your plan replacing them with a flawed, totally implausible implimentation strategy and numerous inept hypotheses, giving us the stupid ideas we need and leaving you with your dreams in tatters.

Everybody wins!!

There are many instances when you may find that you are “working on a delay”. This is typically best experienced after an evening’s festivities, when you are back at someone’s house with friends, it’s late, you are lost in thought (how am i going to get home?), and someone asks you a question.Your author has been known to work on up to a 30 second delay in such circumstances, and you may well have your own stories and records.It would be helpful and a generous gesture to friends if you carried the new patented “working on a delay” display counter.Through the wonders of micro-electronics, a sensor works out your current delay time in seconds, and displays it on something you wear over your T-shirt. A friend need only glance over, check your current delay time, and decide whether they should bother speaking with you. They would also have the option of course of asking you a question, in full knowledge of how long they’ll have to wait until you answer. They can do something useful with this time.Available in all good stores and head shops this Fall – $9.99