Archive for the 'Science' Category...
Filed under Science, Web/Tech
We here at Stupid Business Ideas are very open-minded people who often find ourselves trying to look at the world from many different perspectives. We can make even the simplest question incredibly complex basically because we insist on fairly evaluating every possible answer to a question. This has been known to lead to mass procrastination, total confusion and on occasion almost complete meltdown.
Fortunately for us overly open-minded indecisive types our scientists here at SBI have come up with the ground breaking New Head-In-The-Sand Total Focus Device. This device looks to revolutionize the nightmare which is polite and informed debate. Pleasant discussion is a thing of the past and democratic decision making a mere after thought.
Now decision makers everywhere can simply insert their head or heads into the New Head-In-The-Sand Total Focus Device of their choice and forget about hearing anyoneelse’s point of view or seeing the world from another perspective. This enables the device wearer to stick with his beliefs, not being second guessed by anyone and remaining totally oblivious to potentially vital, highly relevant events going on around him or her. Top executives, to Olympic athletes, to cleaning ladies, to web publishers, to accountants, to Venture Capitalists, to botanists, to students, everybody is using the New Head-In-The-Sand Total Focus Device.
Options now available:
- Portable designer sand buckets
- Full Olympic sized long jump sand pits
- Mediterranean sand
- Fake sand
- Caribbean sand
Available at all good men’s wear stores and fine women’s boutiques everywhere.
Comments Off Posted by B on Friday, August 21st, 2009
Filed under Lifestyle, Science, Web/Tech
Filed under Current Affairs, Lifestyle, Science
There are many instances when you may find that you are “working on a delay”. This is typically best experienced after an evening’s festivities, when you are back at someone’s house with friends, it’s late, you are lost in thought (how am i going to get home?), and someone asks you a question.Your author has been known to work on up to a 30 second delay in such circumstances, and you may well have your own stories and records.It would be helpful and a generous gesture to friends if you carried the new patented “working on a delay” display counter.Through the wonders of micro-electronics, a sensor works out your current delay time in seconds, and displays it on something you wear over your T-shirt. A friend need only glance over, check your current delay time, and decide whether they should bother speaking with you. They would also have the option of course of asking you a question, in full knowledge of how long they’ll have to wait until you answer. They can do something useful with this time.Available in all good stores and head shops this Fall – $9.99
You may find it hard to believe but we do actual make our share of mistakes at Stupid Business Ideas. We, just like everyone else out there, are always second/double guessing ourselves. There are times when we really could do with a second opinion and a bit of guidance. Strangely enough some people have told us that it is about time we tried using our heads. Well, we really got our heads together on this one and finally worked out what “no man is an island” means. So we set about solving one of life’s great problems… making major mistakes and repeating them over and over.
We have all been told throughout our lives that “Two Heads Are Better Than One”! Well after exhausting scientific research and statistical analysis we can confirm that two heads really are better than one.
But let’s face it… it sucks to have to drag someone else along with you just because you need the benefit of an extra head. Certain situations demand discretion but also require the improved judgement of two heads. Here at Stupid Business Ideas we have the solution…Custom Made Second Heads!
Enjoy all the benefits of having a second head around but none of the inconvenience of a second person. You will only need one bus/plane ticket from now on, as your second head can be conveniently stowed beneath the seat in front of you or in the overhead baggage compartments. Start minimizing your mistakes and even stop repeating your legendary gaffes.
Bonus feature: if you like getting inebriated, you have the ability to not only get out of your head but you can now also get out of your second head.
Head on down to one of our Second Head Shops to get your virtually identical second head made by our renaissance-inspired head duplicate artists. Simply, stay motionless for five hours and thirty-six minutes while we make a papier-mache mould of your head and then come back 2-3 weeks later to collect your remarkably familiar looking second head. Believe us you will never look back or look better or use poor judgement again.
Be the wise, mature one of your group of friends and also the one who gets the most wasted…get your Second Head now!
Comments Off Posted by B on Thursday, June 28th, 2007
Filed under Science
Opening Soon in a strip mall near you.
Do you like collectibles? Are you tired of conforming? Are you nocturnal? Do you like the Antiques Roadshow ?
It’s time to come down to our poorly lit, state-of-the-art second-hand light bulb showroom. We have light bulbs from all over the world – Italy, Littlerock, Greenland, Vienna, Bradford, etc. We have new second-hand light bulbs coming in all the time from all kinds of sources for every occasion. We design and make our own range of second-hand light bulb jewellery- it is all the rage. Be original – don’t send flowers to that special someone, say “I love you” with a custom bouquet of exquisite second-hand light bulbs.
Second-hand light bulbs are:
- great as baby soothers
- great for the kids to play that timeless, classic game of “Smash the light bulb”
- wicked novelty/joke gifts. You cannot beat people’s expressions when they insert the second-hand light bulb thinking that it will work and then it doesn’t – good times
- always great talking points at social/family gatherings
- a great way to meet like minded people
- fun for all the family
- the source of many jokes
- super Christmas ornaments
Get All Lit Up At The Second Hand Light Bulb Shop
Comments Off Posted by B on Thursday, May 3rd, 2007