Opening very soon in a crappy shopping mall near you - McGrumpkins Bar and Grill.

McGrumpkins Bar and Grill is the undisputed Number 3 when it comes to totally second-rate entertainment… feel free to take your pants off and enjoy a really crappy meal, get wasted and yell at a bunch of strangers, tag the walls, scream abuse at your server, hit on the staff, start food fights, dine and dash etc.

Now boasting:

• all-day happy hour
• dedicated deep-fried menu
• brunch and brinner specials
• almost felon-free work force
• smoking seats
• munchies and other food
• open dresscode
• table dancing
• dining room camodes

McGrumpkins is a great place to blow off work at, drink through that break-up, meet a man about a dog, watch the playoffs or propose to your girl. Make it McGrumpkins Bar and Grill for an evening of sub-par food, liquored up members of the opposite sex, unrivalled ambience and crappy service.

Take-out menu, in-house catering and other stuff now available.

McGrumpkins… if you don’t like it, we have done our jobs so &@/# off!!!

A couple of years ago it was revealed that Dasani water from the Coca-Cola company was in fact purified water from the municipal supply - ergo tap water. This led to a PR snafu in the UK where an old popular sitcom makes fun of the same idea. Dasani was quickly taken off the shelves, although it still sells elsewhere.

We propose a new take on this idea - bottled tap water called simply ‘Tap Water’. It would come in an over designed, over expensive bottle with a silly label.

Once the club kids get excited about it and after the inevitable loss of cool that follows (”It is tap water you know…”) the label would be changed to say… ‘Tap Water - It’s not tap water’ . At this point it is revealed that it’s actually pure water from an Alaskan iceberg or an Irish mountain spring.

Just as the buzz on this clever marketing concept dies down, a new phrase is added… ‘Tap Water - It’s not tap water… or is it?’ Somebody points out that there are no Alaskan icebergs left, and there are no mountains in Ireland.

Confusion reigns…. but the water keeps flowing.

Are you guilty of making alcohol-fueled late night phone calls to members of the opposite or same sex? Do you lose all sense of reason when inebriated? Are you a paid up member of the “liquid courage” club? Do you feel the need to make amorous propositions from your cellphone to people you previously found unattractive whenever you get loaded?

If you are familiar with any of the preceding questions then you need the life changing Mobile Phone Breathalyser!

Just attach our state-of-the-art breathalyser to your phone (special harness included), turn it on and you will never make a drunken phone call again.

If you attempt to make a call on your cell, you will be prompted to blow into the breathalyser. If you blow over the limit, a siren will sound alerting you and everyone in a 1 mile radius that you are shit-faced and are looking for some loving in all the wrong places.

You will of course always be able to place emergency calls to the Police, Emergency Services or Fire Brigade. We do want you to live after all.

New models and styles coming in all the time.

Check out our new in store promotions at our soon to be opened stores.