You may find it hard to believe but we do actual make our share of mistakes at Stupid Business Ideas. We, just like everyone else out there, are always second/double guessing ourselves. There are times when we really could do with a second opinion and a bit of guidance. Strangely enough some people have told us that it is about time we tried using our heads. Well, we really got our heads together on this one and finally worked out what “no man is an island” means. So we set about solving one of life’s great problems… making major mistakes and repeating them over and over.

We have all been told throughout our lives that “Two Heads Are Better Than One”! Well after exhausting scientific research and statistical analysis we can confirm that two heads really are better than one.

But let’s face it… it sucks to have to drag someone else along with you just because you need the benefit of an extra head. Certain situations demand discretion but also require the improved judgement of two heads. Here at Stupid Business Ideas we have the solution…Custom Made Second Heads!

Enjoy all the benefits of having a second head around but none of the inconvenience of a second person. You will only need one bus/plane ticket from now on, as your second head can be conveniently stowed beneath the seat in front of you or in the overhead baggage compartments. Start minimizing your mistakes and even stop repeating your legendary gaffes.

Bonus feature: if you like getting inebriated, you have the ability to not only get out of your head but you can now also get out of your second head.

Head on down to one of our Second Head Shops to get your virtually identical second head made by our renaissance-inspired head duplicate artists. Simply, stay motionless for five hours and thirty-six minutes while we make a papier-mache mould of your head and then come back 2-3 weeks later to collect your remarkably familiar looking second head. Believe us you will never look back or look better or use poor judgement again.

Be the wise, mature one of your group of friends and also the one who gets the most wasted…get your Second Head now!

Here at Stupid Business Ideas we are always looking to diversify and we are pleased to announce our new half-sister company StupidPR.com

• Are you getting bad publicity?
• Do you want some bad publicity?
• Are people talking about you enough?
• Are you self-absorbed and really think that everyone should be more interested in you?

Don’t give up…we can help. We can spread the word and get your incredibly boring story out there to the five corners of the globe. We are all tired of hearing about war, inflation, poverty, increased interest rates (whatever they are – like who decides how interesting things are?)

Just call today to set up your account and before you know it everyone can know everything about you. We will be offering just about anyone the opportunity to put out a press release to the world about anything. Your news and reports are extremely important to the world no matter how trivial they may seem to you.

Some of our clients’ first press releases:

Toronto, Canada – June 27th 2007 (StupidPR) — John Dickington just had sweet and sour pork with special fried rice delivered to his home by Mr Kung-Po’s Oriental Express. While eating his pretty average dinner, John mulled over his plans for the evening and decided to stay home and watch last week’s American Idol episode he has on Tivo.

Contact John Dickington at 416-555-3435 or press@johndickington.com

Skinectity, New York – June 27th (StupidPR) — Emma Smithberg is pleased to announce a peaceful resolution to the stand-off between her and her cat, Mr Fluffkins. Mr Fluffkins had initially refused to re-enter the house having run out when Emma answered the door to her neighbour, Mrs Enid Jones. After, the threat of an ass-kicking and the offer of some funky tuna Mr Fluffkins acquiesced and re-entered the house without further incident.

Contact Emma Smithberg at 212-555-9265 or press@emmasmithberg.com

StupidPR.com trying to spread the word of the common man/woman since 2007

Do you find yourself always lining up? Are you always waiting impatiently for things? Are you someone who gets their ass kicked for butting in line? Do you like queuing for things? Do you have too little time on your hands?

We have the solution -

We now have Line-up Technicians (or Queue Technicians if you are in jolly England) on call 24 hours a day in some towns and cities, in a few countries worldwide. No matter if you want to select the fastest or slowest line-up we have the answer for you. Perhaps, you don’t know which check-in line-up to select at the Airport or you really want to get your McFix at McDonalds and the line-ups look frustratingly long? We cater to all situations, feuding spouses eager to piss each other off by spending an eternity in the wrong line-up; the simple queue-lover who just loves the order of standing in single file waiting; the impatient, grumpkin who thinks the world revolves around him; etc.

You simply call our dispatch control centre and we will immediately send out a fairly competent Line Up Technician to advise on which line-up to stand in. After thorough analysis using our custom algorithm and heuristics we will tell you the optimum line-up/queue you should stand in to achieve your objective. Don’t be that tool who gets to the counter only to discover that he/she was in the wrong line-up the whole time and has to go and line up again, usually in the longest line-up of them all. Do what all the misguided, impatient people are doing… call The Line-up Technicians!

The Line-up Technicians… getting people where they wanna go faster or slower (sometimes)