Filed under Lifestyle
Do you while away the hours watching TV and listening to other people talk? Do you dream of adding witty comments to other peoples’ conversations and being the life and soul of the party? Do you like talking shit? Now you can…
Learn the hilarious “ington” way of talking with the new “Ington Dictionary”
Within minutes you will be trying all kinds of combinations to great effect…
- Out for lunchington - one who is away with the fairies
- Sober as a judgeington - a tee-totaller
- Buzz Killington - the party wrecker
- Eat Sleepington or Sleep Eatington- one who likes to eat and sleep alot
- Lead Leadington - your boss or leader
- Slow Drivington or Drive Slowington- one who drives slowly
- Work Workington - one who works alot
- Two Timington - the unfaithful type
The formula also works for many other expressions…
- You had better move arseington if you want to catch your plane - in other words hurry the fuck up
- Wanna have a round of golfington - self-explanatory
- Fuck offington - a more interesting variant of the old classic
- What a bad smellington
The “Ington Dictionary” coming to all good book stores and available for download very soon!!
Another innovative product from your friends at Stupid Business Ideas
Filed under Web/Tech
Are you having trouble reaching niche customers? Is your website lacking that official, classical feel? Do you like Latin music? Are you a fan of Homer’s “Iliad”?
Stupid Business Ideas (Bardus Res Informatio) proudly launches their New Latin Translation Service.
That’s right…stay one step ahead of your competitors by making your website available in the mother of all languages - Latin!
- Get one of our native Latin speakers to translate your entire website
- We offer custom translations using all the latest hip Latin expressions
- Express yourself and show people that it is not a dead language after all
- Be the industry leader and say profound things like Caesar’s “Veni, Vidi, Vici”
- Garner even your competitors’ respect with this unique linguistic initiative
- Tell everyone “Carpe Diem” - “Seize the Day”
Launching Summer 2008 A.D.
Coming soon…new Egyptian Hieroglyphics translation service.
Filed under Current Affairs
In what may well be our first SCOOP in the history of stupidbusinessideas.com, and we really aren’t expecting any more, we have discovered a curious domain name holding by our favorite social futility network - Facebook.
In what started out as a ‘not-so-stupid-idea’, your hosts here at SBI were working on a possible plan for WorldTV involving ad revenues and charity. We thought of an initiative that many websites could get involved in, displaying a logo on their website. The name we came up with for this idea… AdAid.
This flush of creativity all stemmed from an impromptu staff outing to the Cliffs of Moher - a particularly inspiring but rather windy spot on the left coast of Ireland. Upon our return to home base, we looked up the domain name AdAid.org, but guess what we found when we visited the domain… the Facebook home page.
At first we thought it was some kind of weird cookie behaviour but indeed, adaid.org really does link to Facebook. Here’s a Google search for Facebook and AdAid…
Would Facebook like to tell us something? If they don’t have any immediate plans for the domain, perhaps they could donate it to the cause? Quite apart from anything else, if they have it as a private domain registration, why is it linked to their homepage!
Filed under Lifestyle
Are you one of the unfortunate people who has poor eyesight? Are you forced to wear glasses to live your life? Do you find the cost of professional laser eye surgery to be prohibitive?
We have the solution for you…simply purchase yourself a laser pointer and then proceed to stare into the beam for 10 minutes. You will notice that most laser pointers have a warning not to stare into the beam but this is a straight forward conspiracy by laser eye surgeons who don’t want you doing your own surgery.
Two of our staff recently completed their own surgery and even though their eyes now feel like they are on fire and they feel the need to constantly wear sunglasses, they are totally convinced that their eyesight may be better soon. Quite an endorsement I think everyone can agree.
We here at Stupid Business Ideas have a truck load of these laser pointers available for the knock down price of $800 a piece so don’t delay start giving awesome presentations with your new almost perfect eyesight now.
Call our 24 hour order hotline on 1-888-EYE-FIRE today!!
Filed under Lifestyle
Just in time for the Easter Bunny’s arrival we here at Stupid Business Ideas are pleased to announce the launch of our latest ultra-convenient new service…
The Easter Egg Eating Service.
That’s right, just give us a call and set up an appointment for one of our fully trained staff to drop by your home and eat all your family’s easter eggs. Sit back and relax as your children start crying, your wife gives you that “you arse-hole” look and watch our staff eat your hard-earned easter eggs. Don’t worry we also eat chocolate bunnies, chocolate bars, chocolate fish, etc. We really will eat all of your easter chocolate
Help out friends and family…set up an easter egg eating appointment for them today!
Only, $29.99 plus tax per appointment.
Filed under Lifestyle
Are you tired of dragging the family to the local craft fair? Suffering from cabin fever? Has your home become a boring hovel? Is your family’s morale low? Do you need to do something special for little Johnnie’s birthday?
Well why not put some excitement back in your life with SBI’s new “Indoor Fireworks Shows“? That’s right you no longer have to freeze your collective asses off to see a cool fireworks show. Become the most popular family on the block and host the explosive fireworks show you always dreamed of…all from within the safe confines of your own home.
Simply set up the fireworks stand in your living room, put on your special safety goggles(4 pairs are included with your show), light the fuse and then sit back, relax and have the shit scared out of you!!
How can you go wrong?
Testimonials about Indoor Fireworks Shows :
“The kids and dog are still shell-shocked and have not spoken in days…good times!!” Gerald Naysmith. (Vancouver, Canada)
“The living room is destroyed but what a show it was” Pamela Jones (Telluride, USA)
“Wow!! A stunning spectacle fit for the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games, all in your own home” Jean-Francois Smith (Seyches, France)
Filed under Fashion, Lifestyle
Following it’s launch at London Fashion Week, men have been flocking to buy Hugo Bacon’s new after shave “L’eau de bacon pour homme”. Lovers, girlfriends, wives and dogs are loving Hugo’s new Apres Razage.
Women cannot keep their hands off the men wearing the irresistable, meaty new men’s fragrance. Even female vegetarians love it.
Available in :
- Ocean Fresh Hickory Smoked
- Sporty Clean Maple Syrup
- Musk Original Thick Sliced
Filed under Current Affairs
Hopewood Charms Press At Yacht Event With Views On Taxes - For more funny videos, click here
With the emergence of Mr Hopewood it looks like America has a bright future. Good business sense looks to be finally coming back to the White House.
Filed under Food and Drink
Opening very soon in a crappy shopping mall near you - McGrumpkins Bar and Grill.
McGrumpkins Bar and Grill is the undisputed Number 3 when it comes to totally second-rate entertainment… feel free to take your pants off and enjoy a really crappy meal, get wasted and yell at a bunch of strangers, tag the walls, scream abuse at your server, hit on the staff, start food fights, dine and dash etc.
Now boasting:
- all-day happy hour
- dedicated deep-fried menu
- brunch and brinner specials
- almost felon-free work force
- smoking seats
- munchies and other food
- open dresscode
- table dancing
- dining room camodes
McGrumpkins is a great place to blow off work at, drink through that break-up, meet a man about a dog, watch the playoffs or propose to your girl. Make it McGrumpkins Bar and Grill for an evening of sub-par food, liquored up members of the opposite sex, unrivalled ambience and crappy service.
Take-out menu, in-house catering and other stuff now available.
McGrumpkins… if you don’t like it, we have done our jobs so &@/# off!!!
Filed under Travel, Lifestyle
Are you absent minded? Do you have the attention span of a 2 year old? Are you short term memory deficient? Do you put things down and immediately forget where you put them? Do you have a car? Do you have a door?
If you answered any of these questions or if you are even reading this then we have a product for you…
The Car/House keys locator system. When you lose those house or car keys which you need so desperately you simple press the GPS button on the key ring device we give you and an alarm bell will sound telling you where you left your keys.
